Sometimes it takes a shock to the system to make changes that are necessary and sometimes vital. Last night was the first real frost here, and the trees have had a big shock. The leaves are just tumbling off the trees today…
It was also the most beautiful morning with a full moon high in the sky, and the sun bursting over the horizon in a blaze of gold and primrose yellow! Glorious blue sky, tinted with golden mackerel clouds, long shadows over the green and white of the fields, with the sun catching the turning leaves of a lone tree under which is huddled a group of 5 calves. Picture postcard perfect! A beautiful morning to set up a tripod and snap away at the wonder of nature, and the turning of the seasons.
These last two weeks have been a challenge emotionally as my mum-in-law has had a car crash, and several falls which has necessitated a prolonged visit to the hospital and some hard decisions. It was a shock to her to have to face giving up driving, and having to consider seriously the propect of moving from her own home to a residential home, and of accepting help in her own home. These kinds of shocks happen so quickly and take a while to assimilate.
On one of the return trips from the hospital in beautiful Harrogate, I was witness to the immediate aftermath of a serious accident which had just happened. It was chaotic, somehow slow motion, frightening and eerily detaching all at the same time. It made me realise with a jolt just how things can change from normal to disaster in a split second.
We all have moments when we suddenly wish we could turn the clock back a few minutes to before something bad happened, and we all know we can’t do it. What determines the outcome of the event is then down to our personalities and how we choose to deal with the problem(s) that have arisen. We can’t change what has happened, but we can choose how to respond to what has happened.
Watching people you love trying to come to terms with things and making choices that you personally wouldn’t make is hard, but I am learning to respect that everyone’s choices are their choices and the outcomes are ones that they have to live with.
Walking out on a cold and frosty beautiful morning and seeing the trees coming to terms with the sudden hard frost has helped me to understand the processes that we all must go through, and how we can help, or hinder, ourselves.
I am very sorry about your mother-in-law. I am in very good shape but of an age when something like that could easily force difficult decisions on our part. And it is really hard to know what choices to make until it happens to you. So I try very very hard to be accepting of the choices of others, knowing they are living different lives, with different histories. It is painful to watch. It also can be painful to watch one’s children growing up for precisely the same reasons.
Thank you for your thoughts, Peg. Yes, you are right! My son is planning on going into the army (but who knows what will happen with all the cut-backs right now) and that has been a hard one to take on board. Of course, his life is his own and you support that, but as a parent you can’t help but worry inside for your kids when they choose to do something potentially life threatening.. It helps if you can find the positive in change.